Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Posted on January 8, 2014 by caverns of my mind

Wednesdays are supposed to be my day to write something in keeping human trafficking on the radar in some way.  The extreme polar temperatures felt much around the nation this week (it even dropped to 28 degrees with a real feel of 15 for a few hours early yesterday morning in my little section of Florida) are my inspiration for today.

American homeless

When the temperatures drop, the homeless become more susceptible to death by cold.  This is a serious matter and many who wouldn’t normally seek shelter will place more demand on the available homeless shelters, and in some cases, some will regretfully be turned away.

What does this have to do with human trafficking?  When Amber Alerts are issued people are on the lookout for a kidnapped child.  What about runaways?  Sure, someone may file a missing child report- that will depend on the reason the child ran away-  but there are so many, they will likely not get much notice.  Where do these kids go?  Often, the streets.  Then they become prey for traffickers.  After all, they will be hungry, cold, and alone.

According to non-governmental U.S. sources;

  • Average victims age is 11 to 14
  • Approx 80% are women and children bought, sold and imprisoned in the underground sex service industry
  • Average life span of a victim is 3 to 7 years (found dead from attack, abuse, HIV and other STD’s, malnutrition, overdose or suicide)

The largest group of at-risk children are runaway, thrown away, or homeless American children who use survival sex to acquire food, shelter, clothing, and other things needed to survive on America’s streets. According to the National Runaway Switchboard  1.3 million runaway and homeless youth live on America’s streets every day. [5,000 die each year] It would not be surprising to learn that the number of children trafficked in the United States is actually much higher than 300,000.

(This information came from The Ark of Hope for Children)

So please consider the homeless when it’s cold outside.  Are there ways you can help in your own community?  But especially consider that each homeless person you meet has a story, and some may be in danger of being trafficked and exploited. hat can you do to help before they become victims?

homeless child stamp

Here’s a link to an informative article through CNN.  Yes, it’s a few years old now, but the information is still relevant.

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Out with the Old and in with the New

Posted on January 7, 2014 by caverns of my mind

We live in a society where old is bad and new is good.  The idea of tossing out old stuff and acquiring new comes to light more than usual when the new year rolls in, but is that always good?

old new car

Sure.  Sometimes we need to update, but are we learning to also give up too quickly?  Back in the day there were more repair shops for appliances and electronics.  These days items are manufactured so that they become more expensive to fix than to just dump the malfunctioning unit and buy a new one.  I wasn’t raised that way.  We generally fixed something until it just couldn’t be fixed anymore, but then, I guess products used to hold their value better.

Here are some examples from my world:

*We’ve had our HD, flatscreen, gazillion inch TV for several years now.  In the last couple months we have noticed a growing constellation of white dots where the pixels are going out.  In the old days a TV could be repaired, but there really isn’t much we can do to fix this, so when we can no longer stand people with glowing white freckles, we will be forced to buy a new one (first world problem, I know, but whatever).

*Our microwave spin table tray stopped spinning.  At first it was random, and then it was fairly consistent, burning our popcorn, which is a staple in the Harper house.  My husband was certain we had to junk it and get a new one.  I don’t like to spend unnecessary money, so I cleaned it, thoroughly, and it spins almost all the time again now.  So apparently maintaining and cleaning your stuff can go a long way.  Who knew?

*To that effect, we have a shower head that we neglected to clean properly from the beginning and though we can clean it up now, some of the parts corroded off, so we can improve it, but not entirely, because we were lazy before.

*This next one is my favorite, and it’s a good thing Robert doesn’t read all my posts or he may be mad at me for this one, but it’s just too funny not to include.  He has uniform shirts to wear for work, button downs.  One shirt sat around for a while so I asked him why and he said he was probably going to have to throw it out.  I assumed he had a bad coffee spill or ripped it or something.  I asked why and he replied, “It’s missing a button.”  First of all, we have almost as many extra buttons in my makeshift sewing kit as there are inches in our TV, and the only things I can actually sew are the wound repairs in our dogs’ toys and buttons.  Then I remembered that I found a button on the dryer and had been trying to locate what it belonged to.  Turns out that button came off the darn shirt and had been sitting there waiting to be reunited.  An easy fix for an otherwise perfectly good shirt.

Sometimes old stuff has more character and class than their newer counterparts.  There is a reason antique stores exist.  Also, with all our technology today, we tend to just be in a hurry to mass produce stuff, and quality is kept at more of a minimum.  Sadly, it feels as though we live in a disposable world.

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My Christmas Kitchen Frenzy

Posted on December 24, 2013 by caverns of my mind

It’s Christmas Eve and some may expect a simply stated, yet inspiring Christmas post from a writer who also happens to be a Christian.  Well, I’ve done that before.  Check out my Christmastime posts from last year.  I’ll run out of things to say that aren’t cliche.  So I’m going to talk about defying other expectations.

I recently overheard some grumbling about how all the women who do Christmas baking, decorating, and the like are taking women back in our advancements for equality.  What?!

First of all, there are plenty of men out there doing the same thing.  There was a year my husband made both an apple pie and a chocolate pecan pie, because he wanted to, and they were good too.

Second, who cares, as long as they’re enjoying what they’re doing?  I don’t do much out of the ordinary in the kitchen most of the year, but nobody wants to get in my way in the kitchen from Thanksgiving until Christmas.  I can and do cook, and even occasionally bake throughout the year, but not like I do for this glorious month. Most of the time, Robert and I team up in the kitchen, but I just spent three days holed up in the kitchen making candy, cookies, and bread to give as gifts to my close friends, and I loved every minute of it (except when I took a look at my doggies on the other side of the doggie gate- they couldn’t understand why Mommy wouldn’t let them in the room that smelled like Heaven).

My point?  If I am a woman enjoying what I’m doing, how am I setting the movement back for women?  Isn’t it all about equal rights and getting to make choices of what we want to do instead of being told what to do?  It’s not like my husband says, “Woman, get in that kitchen and don’t come out till you’ve made me 12 dozen cookies and a plate of toffee!”  He knows that would earn him an actual kick in the butt, the evil eye, and I’d eat my treats in front of him while not allowing him to have any… and honestly probably a few other punishments I feel I shouldn’t elaborate on since I just mentioned I’m a Christian and they would likely not be very Christ-like (though I could then write a post on forgiveness).  Robert recognizes that it’s my choice; of course, he doesn’t mind reaping the rewards of my Christmas kitchen frenzy, even though I don’t let him eat any until I sort out where all of it is going.

Sometimes what happens in the kitchen is about bonding too.  I found an ugly sweater cookie kit at CVS this year.  I baked the cookies, but Robert and I decorated them together and we had fun doing it. Sometimes moments in the kitchen are bonding times for families, and that’s ok.

ugly sweaters

Women, if you want to spend some time in the kitchen, don’t feel like you’re letting down womankind.  If you want to send your husband to the grocery store to pick up some cookies already made in the bakery, that’s fine too.  Maybe you’d rather just eat healthy snacks like celery with peanut butter for your treats, and that’s creepy, but its still your choice.  Whatever you choose, have a Merry Christmas!

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Gonna Bike Now

Posted on December 23, 2013 by caverns of my mind

I wish I had a montage of all those great comeback scenes from Hollywood to go along with this post, but you’ll just have to imagine them in your head.  However, you may feel free to play “Gonna Fly Now” in the background and picture me dancing around at the top of the Philadelphia Museum of Art (that’s what will be going through my head, even though I’ve never even been there-shhh).

running terri

At the beginning of September I began a 12-week training program for a half marathon.  My first half marathon.  It was a BIG deal to me.  About two-thirds through I realized I had an extra week because I’d miscalculated, but that was no big deal because it would just give me a chance to get better and stronger.  For the first time in my three years of running, I was really feeling like a runner.

“Oh, sorry I cannot make it out for drinks today; I have a 10-miler to do this afternoon,” was something I found myself saying on more than one occasion.  One of those runs was also done in the cool of a fall Florida rain. I felt so hardcore.

At the eleven week mark I went for my forth 10-miler.  The morning was a bit warmer than I prefer for running distances, but whatever.  About a mile and a half from home I came around a curve and saw a stick on the trail.  But it wasn’t a stick because sticks don’t generally move on their own, and in a moment of confusion and needing to take quick action because my feet were not on the ground and I needed to avoid stepping on or near this thing, I took a panicked side-step.  Then I kept going.  My legs were sore, so nothing seemed unusual in that last mile and a half, but one particular sore spot would not stop hurting after a good stretch and it continued for a few days, and then several days, and by then I was not running anymore.  I had exactly two weeks from that fateful day until the half marathon I had been working so hard to dominate.

I told myself and others that I’d take a few days off and then get back out there.  I researched online to figure out what it was.  I got x-rays.  It still remains a mystery.  My thought was a tibial stress fracture, but it didn’t show up on the x-rays (incidentally, they often do not show up on x-rays, and I wasn’t ready to pay for an MRI).  Other possibilities were torn ligaments or tendons.  None sounded fun, and none could really be treated any more than what I was already doing, so I sucked it up, limped around, and tried not to cry.  I had to come to terms that I would not be running the half marathon.

The half marathon took place just over a week ago (and at night), and I went to support my running friends and because there was a holiday parade following the runners.  During the parade, it began to sprinkle, and then to suddenly pour.  Police on bikes rode the route to tell everyone to go home due to incoming bad weather.  All those half marathoners were already out there running though.  I was oddly grateful to not be out there in the mess, though I had secretly had to hold back tears as I saw my fellow runners pass at the start of the race.  In all the craziness, a tornado even touched down in town.  Fortunately all the runners were safe, but I hear it was a scary and disorienting experience.

A few days ago I decided I would attempt to get out on my bike now that I’m not limping anymore.  I know I’m not quite ready for the impact of running, but the bike doesn’t aggravate the injury at all now and I’m building up other important muscles that will help me make my comeback when I am ready to run.  There will be other half marathons, but I have something else coming up that is even more important to me.  This will be my forth year participating in the 200 mile relay race called Ragnar.  I’m runner four, which is quite hardcore.  We run from Miami to Key West, and I cannot miss this.  I’ve got about six and a half weeks to train.  I can’t let down my team and I can’t break tradition.

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Unapologetic Eater of Whatever I Want

Posted on December 20, 2013 by caverns of my mind

Warning: some may find this post controversial… and I don’t care.

bacon roses

Is it just me, or in the last couple years has the percentage of people who cannot eat delicious foods increased?  Or are they just suddenly trying to make everyone who does enjoy them feel guilty by telling us how unhealthy we are?  By the way, that’s not true.  According to my physical and bloodwork, I’m crazy healthy, especially for my age.

But seriously, why is this suddenly an issue?  Is it as much as an issue as people are making out of it?  I blame the media and anyone profiting off the gluten free and otherwise yummy-food-intolerant people of the world.  That stuff is expensive!

And then there are those piggybacking on the food intolerant with the high and mighty, I only make my own soap, vegan butter, and non-enriched flour, and the rest of you are all going to die attitudes.  And those are the worst, because they rub it in, join Pintrest, and condemn the rest of us who do not live in bubbles and actually enjoy life and flavor.

There used to be a time, just a few years ago, when I could freely share my homemade Chrsitmastime goodies with friends and neighbors, but with everyone’s dietary restrictions and convictions, I now feel they will see me as spreading death.

If you share a picture on Facebook of any meal or treat you have enjoyed, you better be prepared for the backlash.  You’ll get the timid “likes” of those who know it looks good but are afraid to start an argument.  But you’ll also get the, “How can you eat something that had a face?” or “The gluten in that cake would kill me!” comments. It would almost be safer, I dare say, to share your opinion on someone’s post about Christian minority Obamacare for homosexuals seeking marriage after crossing the border illegally.  It’s almost like some people believe sharing recipes for this stuff should be illegal, like how to build bombs in your mother’s basement stuff.

I’m sure someone reading this will get fired up.  I may even get a lecture on the horrors of the food industry and how I am equal to Hitler.  I promise to smile and nod and keep scrolling right past that.  I will not apologize for coming from hearty stock or enjoying bacon wrapped (and fried) gluten. I am sorry so many others seem to be suffering from various ailments caused by gluten, or the guilt of eating animals, but I refuse to be made to feel guilty, and I will enjoy all sorts of glutenous (and gluttonous), nut-laced treats and meats this holiday season.  You may enjoy asparagus wrapped in spinach leaves and dipped in a light olive oil, but with all the tastiness out there, I find that offensive!

*This post was meant to be humorous and a bit satirical.  If you actually got offended, we do not share the same sense of humor.

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Sequestering My Sequel

Posted on December 3, 2013 by caverns of my mind

writers block

Writing a sequel for Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages.  That’s what I’m supposed to be doing at this exact moment, but instead, I’m writing a blog post about writing a sequel.  Why?  Because I’m looking for excuses to not work on my sequel right now and as long as I’m writing something, that’s all that matters, right?

Wrong.

I know.  I know.  It’s just like I said…an excuse.  Why would I even need an excuse?  So many reasons.

Writer’s block:  Today I am seriously NOT feeling my protagonist, or the plot, or anything at all, for that matter.  It’s just now, in this moment though.  I’ve been doing fine all along… until now.  The problem is I’m about to have a very busy several days in which I know I will be unable to schedule sequel writing time, so I’m feeling that added pressure.

Added pressure:  I’ve been working on this sequel for five months and I really want to get through this first draft and begin editing, but I’m only at about the halfway mark.  There is no time frame or deadline.  I’m an indie writer, so it’s all up to me, but I am the added pressure, because I want to have a sequel to offer to prove I’m serious about this book writing thing.  Also, I know I have more chances of getting noticed by readers if I have more than one book and the promise of an entire series.

Fear of sequel disaster:  It happens all the time in books and movies. We’ve all seen it, or read it, and felt sadly let down.  The first one is great, so a second is written or filmed.  But other than The Empire Strikes Back, which is my favorite Star Wars film, I have a hard time thinking of any movies or books in the second position that have lived up to the first.  Occasionally, a third can come along and help dig it out of a hole, but sometimes, once that car comes off the rails, it just becomes a larger train wreck.  I don’t want Drew to be part of a train wreck.  She means more to me than that and I want to get it right, for her sake.  I owe her (Drew is my protagonist, if you’re wondering)! So I have repeat performance issues.

But I really need to just suck it up and write, right?  I have to have faith that Drew can guide me and help me to be true to her character.  When I have alone time with her, as I do now, sequestered in my office, I need to build her life.  I can always go back and fix it later if I screw up too much.  Being a writer is much safer than parenting.  That’s what editing and revision are all about.  After all, I rewrote and deleted chunks in the first book. It’s acceptable to not be perfect at first.  Nobody has to know if I catch it before I publish it.  I can do this.  I feel better already.  I always do when I write it out. Now, can I do the same with Drew?

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Cyber Monday: How you can buy gifts AND save and change lives

Posted on December 2, 2013 by caverns of my mind
nydailynews.com

nydailynews.com

Cyber Monday, or the smart alternative to Black Friday (see horror above), serves that purpose or may help aid in the recovery of those who have attempted Black Friday and, as a result, never again wish to leave their homes.  Just a few days after the stampedes at the big box retailers, and after people have had so much turkey leftovers that they no longer have the motivation to move, online retailers take over.

Interestingly, my husband Robert works for a rather large retailer, and he informed me that many of their online deals are better than the sales were in the stores on Thanksgiving and Black Friday, so you really may be better off shopping from home.

Robert and I simplified our Christmas gift giving a few years back, but if we were still up for the commercialism, I have found some great resources we would use because they also support good causes, mainly fighting human trafficking.  I only have a small list compiled, but I am sure more wonderful resources are out there.  Though we live in a time of horrible injustices, we also live in a time where more movements seem to be rising almost daily in order to stand against and combat these injustices.  So, if you know of any more, please feel free to add them to the comments so others can also be informed.

  • First of all, Amazon has a great program of non-profits being able to get a small percentage of purchases (Amazon Smile), but you need to sign up for the organization so that as you buy gifts, or even a few treats for yourself, you are actually contributing to a cause.  You have options, but I found out about this through Love 146, one of my favorite organizations that combats trafficking, spreads awareness, and offers aftercare.  Follow this link to sign up.
  • I also know of a few great places set up with the purpose of empowering people who may not otherwise be able to make fair wages, and they are truly beautiful items.  Imagine Goods is one I discovered through Love 146, as they have a line of clothing, but there are also other artisans on their website.  Another, Trades of Hope, was actually started locally where I live and they have artisans worldwide (and some right here in the US).  Through today, TOH is offering selected items at 50% off.
  • You can also donate to organizations in someone’s name as a gift.  Again, I discovered this through Love 146, but there are other organizations out there if something else suits you better. These are called Giving eCards.
  • Not For Sale, another great organization fighting human trafficking has an online shop as well. I’ve had the Rebbl tea, and it is delicious.

There truly are a number of other places where your shopping can do good for the world.  Please consider this as you check off your shopping list this holiday season. If Black Friday has left you feeling ill towards your fellow man, you can remember people with third world problems instead of first world problems, and touch their lives. Happy shopping.  Happy holidays.

*Since this post is all about helping your fellow man, and I plugged places mostly with a heart towards freedom and empowerment and human rights, this will be my human trafficking post for the week.

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My Words as Weapons: The Unnerving Rising Number

Posted on November 27, 2013 by caverns of my mind

As I mentioned last week, my Wednesday blog is about human trafficking.  If I can keep you informed, perhaps you’ll pass the knowledge along, and enough people will be enraged to actually do something to make a change.

Today’s post will be short because I know people are busy this week with Thanksgiving preparations.  Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.

When I first was drawn into the fight against human trafficking a few years back, the estimated number of people enslaved around the world was 27 million.  Today as I research, many of the organizations are changing the number to an estimated 30 million!  We need more people fighting and sharing awareness so this number will stop increasing and will instead begin declining.

3 million more people enslaved.  Heartbreaking.

Of course, these are all estimated numbers anyway, and what does that mean exactly?  The word trafficking implies movement, right? Selling, trading, importing, exporting people.  Any time money exchanges hands for a person. It’s not like there is legal paperwork tracing the whereabouts of these unfortunate people, so numbers must be estimated by the compiling of many variables.  I guess, technically, the number could be lower, but most say even this updated number is most likely a conservative estimate, meaning, there’s a good chance the victim count is higher.

This Thanksgiving, give thanks if you know where all your loved ones are and that they are safe.  Pray for those who are not.

Proverbs 31:8-9

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An Update on the Ordinary

Posted on November 26, 2013 by caverns of my mind

As Dustin walked us toward the door, he caught me gently by the hand, letting Adrienne walk out ahead.  “I couldn’t find the mistletoe, and I couldn’t afford to get you a gift, so I hope this is ok,” he said as he leaned in and gave me a quick, soft kiss on my lips. His hand let mine go, he smiled, his beautiful dark eye showing more of the green flecks than normal, and wished me a Merry Christmas.  I turned and walked into the wall.  -Excerpt from Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl’s yet untitled sequel

Since my blog tends to be all over the place, as I pick up new followers, I guess I should reiterate from time to time that I am an author… with an actual book.

“Oh, yeah?  What’s it called and what is it about?” is a common question (yeah, I know that if we disected this there are actually three questions).

So, here’s the blurb for Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages:

Set in the time while the ‘80s were fading into the ‘90s and the poofiness of hair and shoulder pads was soon to deflate, this coming of age story retells the experiences of Drew Hotchner, an “extraordinarily ordinary” girl, through her possibly wiser and more honest adult self. Drew struggles not only with the unavoidable awkwardness of being in middle school, but also with having to start over again her entire social world after experiencing the culture shock of moving across the country from California to Virginia.

Through Drew’s humorous adventures in trespassing, accidental theft, school dances, and throwing punches at her best friend, she must finally learn who she really is. And if you can admit you are also extraordinarily ordinary, just as Drew claims to be, that we all just want to know who we really are, and that sometimes we surprise ourselves along the way, this might be the book for you.

Now for some other reminders and updates.  My book is currently available in three online locations.

Still available on kindle, but now also in print at Amazon.

CreateSpace has the book in print.

I recently added my book to the many indie works of Smashwords.  They even allowed me to have an official author interview page.  Answering those questions was fun and it makes me feel special.

I think I’m going to figure out a way to offer signed copies of my book, which can be an issue when my book is print on demand.  I’ll work out the kinks and give out that info when the time comes.

Oh, AND I am still building likes for my Facebook author page.  Come join and share with your friends.

I’m still working on my sequel for Drew’s freshman year and I’m about halfway through it too.  The problem with fiction is that it can sometimes take on a life of its own and it’s taking me longer to write this than I had originally anticipated, and one really cannot rush art.

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My Peculiar Confession

Posted on November 23, 2013 by caverns of my mind

I do not have children, nor have I ever desired to have children (for maybe about 6 months of my life because it felt like a duty I should take care of, like paying taxes, walking the dog, or something); however, I am tired of those who propagate assuming I don’t because I am a selfish person.  And even if I were childless due to being selfish, why would anyone want to argue with me about it and try to talk me into having kids.  If there are people out there who have made a conscious decision not to have babies because they know they are selfish, wouldn’t it be best to let it rest?  Don’t we have enough bad parents in the world?

I have several reasons for not having kids (many I believe I covered sometime ago in my blog), but one is, surprisingly, that I don’t want to be selfish.

That’s right.  One reason I have not procreated is because I want to keep myself from being too selfish.  I have an intense personality and I put my all into whatever I do, to the point of it almost becoming unhealthy at times.  I taught for seven years, and in that time I touched the lives of more kids than I ever could have if I had one or two kids of my own.  Sure, some people do both, but for a personality such as mine, I knew I had to make a choice because I would only be good at one.  By the thank yous I often get from students I was able to encourage and inspire, I believe I made the right choice.

Now I’m not teaching, so people have asked me again about why I don’t have kids.  Well, I’m not as young as I used to be and I know it gets riskier to have a healthy first baby at this point, so again, wouldn’t that be selfish?  (Not to mention that I still have no biological urge to do it)

By remaining childless, my husband and I have less obligation, allowing us more chances to put ourselves into projects and places where we can help others.  We both desire to do this, but I know if I had a child, I would block out the world and make everything about that one little being, while there are so many others in this world with needs.  I’d rather work on a larger scale.  I believe this is why God never gave me the desire to breed.  Seriously.  I know it sounds weird, but it’s true.

I genuinely hope so many people with children will stop assuming they know the reasons people decide not to have kids and that the reason is that we’re all selfish.  Unless you know the person and her story, you cannot assume this about her.  It’s the equivalent to those of us without kids assuming everyone with offspring has them because they are narcissistic and felt nothing but the desire to create facsimiles of themselves.  That is not a fair assumption, and neither is the other.

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