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You’re Not the Boss of Me! Banning Bossy

Yes, the idea of blaming the word is this ridiculous.

Yes, the idea of blaming the word is this ridiculous. (not sure where meme came from to give credit)

I’ve been hearing and reading a bit about this idea of banning the word bossy because it is most used against women in authoritative positions and it sends a bad message to little girls who are more often called bossy than their male counterparts. Now the solution to the problem is to ban the word bossy. Why don’t we, instead, try to educate a bit more on why it is women may be seen that way when they are in positions of power?  A history of the struggle for women’s equality might be insightful as to why women may feel more of a need to prove themselves. Or the idea that women are more often seen as the caregivers and may then be seen as bossy since they are the ones who oftentimes make decisions. I’m not ranting about wanting the freedom to call little girls and powerful women bossy (I’m sure I have been called the word once or twice in my life, but it was obviously insignificant enough for me to not even really remember).  I’m just saying that banning a word is not a solution to the problem.

In fact, that’s just about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard or read.  Oh, wait…is it ok to use the word stupid?  Lackluster individuals may feel offended.  Seriously, unless you never use words, you are bound to offend or upset someone sometime.  I like to call that life.  Welcome to it.

To be honest, I’ve never really given much thought to the word bossy, but if we all start banning words we don’t like, eventually we may have no words at all, and thus, no way to express ourselves and our feelings.  I can think of several words that are offensive and should not be used in front of children, yet the liberality in which they are used these days now seems to suggest it’s ok.  Bossy is not the B word that should concern us. Where are our morals? I find the lack of those to be offensive.

Do we allow people to use synonyms of the word instead or will we also ban domineering, pushy, overbearing, controlling and officious?

Then there is the whole idea of physically banning a word.  Has it ever been done?  How do we do it exactly?  We would have to take it out of the dictionary and then search out and remove it from any piece of literature ever written.  I suppose we could have book burning festivals.  We would also have to come up with a punishment to use against offenders.  Community service? Jail time? Or maybe we could just stone them or lock them away in camps? If we heard somebody say it, how should we react?  Responding would show we recognized the word.  Perhaps staring blankly at the perpetrator, indicating the use of an unknown word, would be the best reaction, and then specialized, trained professionals would be signaled that the word had been uttered and they could come take the individual away.

Look, if people want to call me bossy or whatever else, so what?  You cannot ban opinions…or can you?


My Christmas Kitchen Frenzy

It’s Christmas Eve and some may expect a simply stated, yet inspiring Christmas post from a writer who also happens to be a Christian.  Well, I’ve done that before.  Check out my Christmastime posts from last year.  I’ll run out of things to say that aren’t cliche.  So I’m going to talk about defying other expectations.

I recently overheard some grumbling about how all the women who do Christmas baking, decorating, and the like are taking women back in our advancements for equality.  What?!

First of all, there are plenty of men out there doing the same thing.  There was a year my husband made both an apple pie and a chocolate pecan pie, because he wanted to, and they were good too.

Second, who cares, as long as they’re enjoying what they’re doing?  I don’t do much out of the ordinary in the kitchen most of the year, but nobody wants to get in my way in the kitchen from Thanksgiving until Christmas.  I can and do cook, and even occasionally bake throughout the year, but not like I do for this glorious month. Most of the time, Robert and I team up in the kitchen, but I just spent three days holed up in the kitchen making candy, cookies, and bread to give as gifts to my close friends, and I loved every minute of it (except when I took a look at my doggies on the other side of the doggie gate- they couldn’t understand why Mommy wouldn’t let them in the room that smelled like Heaven).

My point?  If I am a woman enjoying what I’m doing, how am I setting the movement back for women?  Isn’t it all about equal rights and getting to make choices of what we want to do instead of being told what to do?  It’s not like my husband says, “Woman, get in that kitchen and don’t come out till you’ve made me 12 dozen cookies and a plate of toffee!”  He knows that would earn him an actual kick in the butt, the evil eye, and I’d eat my treats in front of him while not allowing him to have any… and honestly probably a few other punishments I feel I shouldn’t elaborate on since I just mentioned I’m a Christian and they would likely not be very Christ-like (though I could then write a post on forgiveness).  Robert recognizes that it’s my choice; of course, he doesn’t mind reaping the rewards of my Christmas kitchen frenzy, even though I don’t let him eat any until I sort out where all of it is going.

Sometimes what happens in the kitchen is about bonding too.  I found an ugly sweater cookie kit at CVS this year.  I baked the cookies, but Robert and I decorated them together and we had fun doing it. Sometimes moments in the kitchen are bonding times for families, and that’s ok.

ugly sweaters

Women, if you want to spend some time in the kitchen, don’t feel like you’re letting down womankind.  If you want to send your husband to the grocery store to pick up some cookies already made in the bakery, that’s fine too.  Maybe you’d rather just eat healthy snacks like celery with peanut butter for your treats, and that’s creepy, but its still your choice.  Whatever you choose, have a Merry Christmas!