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Unapologetic Eater of Whatever I Want

Warning: some may find this post controversial… and I don’t care.

bacon roses

Is it just me, or in the last couple years has the percentage of people who cannot eat delicious foods increased?  Or are they just suddenly trying to make everyone who does enjoy them feel guilty by telling us how unhealthy we are?  By the way, that’s not true.  According to my physical and bloodwork, I’m crazy healthy, especially for my age.

But seriously, why is this suddenly an issue?  Is it as much as an issue as people are making out of it?  I blame the media and anyone profiting off the gluten free and otherwise yummy-food-intolerant people of the world.  That stuff is expensive!

And then there are those piggybacking on the food intolerant with the high and mighty, I only make my own soap, vegan butter, and non-enriched flour, and the rest of you are all going to die attitudes.  And those are the worst, because they rub it in, join Pintrest, and condemn the rest of us who do not live in bubbles and actually enjoy life and flavor.

There used to be a time, just a few years ago, when I could freely share my homemade Chrsitmastime goodies with friends and neighbors, but with everyone’s dietary restrictions and convictions, I now feel they will see me as spreading death.

If you share a picture on Facebook of any meal or treat you have enjoyed, you better be prepared for the backlash.  You’ll get the timid “likes” of those who know it looks good but are afraid to start an argument.  But you’ll also get the, “How can you eat something that had a face?” or “The gluten in that cake would kill me!” comments. It would almost be safer, I dare say, to share your opinion on someone’s post about Christian minority Obamacare for homosexuals seeking marriage after crossing the border illegally.  It’s almost like some people believe sharing recipes for this stuff should be illegal, like how to build bombs in your mother’s basement stuff.

I’m sure someone reading this will get fired up.  I may even get a lecture on the horrors of the food industry and how I am equal to Hitler.  I promise to smile and nod and keep scrolling right past that.  I will not apologize for coming from hearty stock or enjoying bacon wrapped (and fried) gluten. I am sorry so many others seem to be suffering from various ailments caused by gluten, or the guilt of eating animals, but I refuse to be made to feel guilty, and I will enjoy all sorts of glutenous (and gluttonous), nut-laced treats and meats this holiday season.  You may enjoy asparagus wrapped in spinach leaves and dipped in a light olive oil, but with all the tastiness out there, I find that offensive!

*This post was meant to be humorous and a bit satirical.  If you actually got offended, we do not share the same sense of humor.


About caverns of my mind


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