Category Archives: Creative Writing

My Book Series is Going through Puberty

The May/June issue of Writer’s Digest is dedicated to those who write for children and teens, so I did my ill-coordinated happy dance when it arrived and jumped right in.  According to what I read, I’m right on the mark where I need to be, and since Writer’s Digest says I’m doing well, I’m certain others will soon figure this out about me too, and I’ll become a rich indie author.

Ok, but I am where I need to be, I think.

I felt like my book was homeless when I finished it, which is part of why I decided to forgo all the jumping through hoops in search of an agent who would then search for a publisher.  I figured my story didn’t really fit anywhere well, so it would have to do as I have always done, and non-conform, see who might pick up on it anyway.  But as it turns out, my book does fit as a piece of Middle-Grade literature.  Between that and Young Adult fiction, my story Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages falls into the middle, Middle-Grade that is. Yet somehow most of the readers I know of have been adults, and not necessarily all even female.  I guess I’ve told a timeless, possibly genderless, story. We’ve all gone through the tortures of middle school, right?  Also, I don’t often get feedback from that age group because they don’t really do that. I need to enlist the gatekeepers, their parents, teachers, aunts… My book fills the criteria properly, but I still need to reach them.

But even after checking on my word count and the appropriateness of my characters and content, I felt pleased.  But what of my soon-to-be-released sequel?  My middle schooler protagonist is moving up to high school, my word count is increasing, and some more serious issues will arise, though Drew always tries to keep it light.  So, now my series is moving into the Young Adult world. Will that make it hard to categorize my series? It’s moving from one age group to another.  I guess I hoped my readers could grow along with Drew, but is it an awkward change? Is my book series going through puberty?  Is that even allowed?  J.K. Rowling got away with it as everyone read about Harry and his buddies as they grew up.  This worked well for her, so here’s hoping (I would cross my fingers, but I already type slowly)

I plan to launch my sequel at the end of May.  I’m both excited and want to throw up.  I had no idea what I was doing the first time I self published my book, but now I’ve done a little more research and publicity, though all the free kind. Last time, I put the book on Kindle and then started telling people about it here and there.  This time I’m planning to shout it from as many rooftops (social media) as possible ahead of time, and to enlist my friends and fans to help.

I’m proud of my sequel.  My writing and content have matured and it’s more polished. I also think Drew, my semi-autobiographical protagonist, is a fun, interesting character.  In the same Writer’s Digest issue, I also read an article by Jacquelyn Mitchard on “Standout Series Characters” and I think Drew fits this concept:

“One of the most important characteristics of a character who’ll become part of a teen or a kid’s life for several years has a simple, relatable likability.”

Of course, I also read this gem about the fine balance of writing a sequel, a tedious task:

“One of the most difficult things in the word world is to write the second book in a series.  The challenge for a good writer is finding the balance– appealing to the reader who’s meeting these characters for the first time and making sure the reader who knows the character already isn’t utterly bored.”

I think I got it right, and soon readers will be able to confirm this for me.

 

Throw Back Thursday: Bare Feet

It’s spring, which means here in Florida, it’s pretty much summer from now until October. In honor of the season and because I am fortunate enough to live within a few miles of the ocean, I offer a happy, sunny poem I wrote back in 1996.

dreamsresortsblog.com

dreamsresortsblog.com

Bare Feet

Bare feet in the sand,

with children running hand-in-hand.

Laughs and silly giggles.

Oh, how that foam does tickle!

And the scent of the salt air,

clings softly to sun-bleached hair.

There are castles made of sand;

so proudly they stand,

in the glory of the sun…

the soothing warmth of the sun.

Terree L. Klaes 1996

Throw Back Thursday: Sinister Eyes

A Throw Back Thursday poem from 1994, when I believe I was a high school junior.  I once attempted to translate this into Spanish for a class assignment, but I cannot find that and it was probably all wrong anyway.

Retrieved from   the-indu-drawer.deviantart.com

Retrieved from the-indu-drawer.deviantart.com

Sinister Eyes

There once was a man

with sinister eyes

that could pierce your body through

 

He lived in the darkness

in his own little world,

but longed for something more

 

There came a day

when this sinister man

knew Death was at his door

 

He tried to fight back,

but could not succeed,

then collapsed from an awful disease

 

Now his sinister eyes

are tightly shut,

his arms folded over his chest.

 

It is hard to believe

such a misfortunate man

could have such a tranquil rest.

 

Terree L. Klaes copyright 1994

The Elegance of Grammar

This will seem odd to most people.  At least that’s what I thought for so long.  I felt alone…until last week when I stumbled across someone who expressed my feelings exactly and I realized there are others out there who know.

I was reading The Elegance of a Hedgehog by Muriel Barberry when her character Paloma, a twelve year old genius who is running out of hope in humankind and the purpose for living, perfectly captured my feelings on grammar:

Personally I think that grammar is a way to attain beauty. When you speak, or read, or write, you can tell if you’ve said or read or written a fine sentence.  You can recognize a well-turned phrase or an elegant style.  But when you are applying the rules of grammar skillfully, you ascend to another level of language…I get completely carried away just knowing there are words of all different natures, and that you have to know them in order to be able to infer their potential usage and compatibility…it becomes obvious that grammar is an end in itself and not simply a means; it provides access to the structure and beauty of language, it’s not just some trick to help people get by in society. (pgs 158 & 159)

elegance of a hedgehog

I write because I love telling stories, but I also write because I love all the various ways I can tell my story.  Grammar, diction, and syntax can all be brought together in a magical way.  Just writing something because you have to becomes a chore.  But writing because you love and understand language becomes an art…literature.  I don’t want to just write for the sake of writing.  I want to create and explore, to guide emotions with my written words.

And then, the very next day I was reading The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie when I came upon this great excerpt between the protagonist Junior and his new friend Gordy on books:

“Yes, it’s a small library. It’s a tiny one.  But if you read one of these books a day it would still take you almost ten years to finish.”

“What’s your point?”

“The world, even the smallest parts of it, is filled with things you don’t know.”

Wow.  That was a huge idea.

Any town, even one as small as Reardon, was a place of mystery. And that meant that Wellpinit, that smaller, Indian town, was also a place of mystery.

“Okay, so it’s like each of these books is a mystery.  Every book is a mystery. And if you read all the books ever written, it’s like you’ve read one giant mystery. And no matter how much you learn, you just keep on learning there is much more you need to learn.” (I forgot to get the page numbers for this one)

part time indian

So between the beauty of language when it is formed correctly and all the mystery and newness in each book, I basically wish I could close myself off in a book cave forever, pausing only to create my own and to eat chocolate…and bacon.

If you didn’t see the truth in this before, I hope this stirs a revolution in your mind and soul.  If you did but thought, much like I did, that you were the only one, you are welcome.  Now you know you are not alone.

Elle Klass Blog Tour

As it turns out, not only do I write, but I also have a sister who writes. Yes, the talent in our family is astronomical indeed. This week she is doing a blog tour to pump up the release of her latest book, Baby Girl Book 2: Moonlighting in Paris, of which I also had the pleasure of being Elle’s editor (because a sister can really appreciate the anal perfectionism and honesty I have to offer).   Please read, share, and enjoy as I host a bit of her tour on my blog today.

Before moving on to the meat of this post, I just want to take a moment to comment on Elle’s protagonist, Cleo turned Justine, not as a sister or an editor, but as one with a fascination for good characters. I like the mystery of Justine. She’s floating on the tide of a world she doesn’t know, seemingly pretending to be something or someone she is not, but in all honesty, she doesn’t know who she is. She has gone from a life where she was sheltered in anonymity into the intrusive eyes of the paparazzi… and she’s still just a teenager on her own! Sure, she’s naive in many respects, but she has a great inner strength that carries her on.

Day Three

Don’t forget to click here to enter the giveaway for one or more of Elle’s books free!

lisa

A spooky short from Elle’s life: A piece of inspiration for Baby Girl

On a bright sunny California day I made a pit stop at the local drug store on my way home from work. I desperately had to have the latest V.C. Andrews novel, which, if memory serves correctly was one of the Heaven series. I shifted my egg shaped, chocolate colored Honda into neutral, applied the emergency brake and happily flounced out of my car with only one thought, buying my new book. As I walked the short distance into the drug store I heard a set of quickening footsteps behind me. Upon stealing a glance, a thrityish man, average looking, wearing an everyday business suit was swiftly gaining ground on me. Something about him gave me the chills so I rushed into the store, grabbed the book off the shelf and wasted no time in run-walking to the checkout. Observing that he was nowhere to be seen I waited in line, checking for his whereabout every few seconds. I safely made it to the cashier, sighing a breath of relief, thinking I had escaped him. As the cashier handed me the bag he walked up behind me, and attempted conversation. I ran out the door, jumped into my car, locked all the doors, and started up the little 4 cylinder engine. As I readied my car into first gear I heard a knock on my window. I had been in such a rush to get away from him I stopped watching. He motioned for me to roll down my window, and asked if I wanted to go have Chinese food with him. I shouted, “No,” and chirped my car out of its resting place. I was sixteen at the time and was scared out of my wits. Thoughts of him being worse than a pedophile swirled around in my brain. The story doesn’t end here. He trailed me out of the parking lot and down many streets. Instead of going straight home, I zigzagged all over the small city until his car was gone. Eventually I made it home safely, but not without parking my car behind the fence so it couldn’t be easily seen and telling my parents all about the blood chilling incident. I was a teen long before cell phones or beepers for that matter, and I wholeheartedly believe that is an incident in which using a cell while driving should be legal. If I’d had one, then I would have dialed 911 without hesitation.

baby girl

Charlotte Greenbrier A.K.A Student

I used the power of the internet to try and find information on my mom. I again wasn’t sure where to start so I went back to archived newspaper articles: disappearances, strange deaths, anything that would tell me what happened. I had found a lot of disappearances, but none that were my mom or even close. I looked through deaths, murders and unsolved mysteries. Finally, I found a story about a young woman who was found floating upstream in a river. It wasn’t far from where I had lived and the date was about the time she went missing. It was also within the months of my being alone in the cabin. The body hadn’t been identified and there weren’t a lot of details: she was in her early thirties, red hair and petite in size. The description matched my mom. She had been strangled before being thrown into the river, and her attacker was never found. If this was my mom, was she killed in a bad drug deal? Had she whored herself out to the wrong man? Again, I was left with answers but even more questions. I wrote down the name of the officer in charge of the case and the author of the newspaper article.

I wanted to make phone calls, but not from my room. Any calls made through the hotel were on record via the phone bill. I also didn’t want to be followed by Mr. Dancy Eyes, or anyone else for that matter. I had always been able to melt into a crowd, to be seen but not really seen. Now my face was plastered everywhere, and I longed to blend. Didier had some clothes in my room, so I rummaged through them until I found something that looked okay. A pair of baggy pants and a button down shirt. I pulled my hoodie on over it, rolled my hair into a cap, and took a quick glance in the mirror. Not too horrible, since oversized clothes were in style.

On the streets I needed a phone, an untraceable one… a throwaway cell phone. A few blocks down was a store, something like a jiffy store, the kind of place that sells cigarettes, candy and other miscellaneous items. Inside they had disposable phones, so I purchased one and headed back to the hotel. No good. I didn’t want to go back to the hotel. My sense of anonymity forced the need to find someplace that had no connection to my present life. Spotting a small café with a seat outside, and nobody else around I made my phone calls. I wasn’t sure who to talk to first, but thought the media might be my best choice since they were always so nosy.

The reporter who worked my mother’s case was as good a place as any to start, I thought. Her office gave me a run around and finally patched me through to her.  “Gina Brandt” she said pointedly.

“Thanks for speaking with me. My name is Charlotte Greenbrier. I’m a journalism student and I would like to ask you some questions about a case you worked. I have to write a paper on an unsolved mystery.

“Which case?”

“It was a couple years ago, a woman in her early thirties with red hair found floating upstream in a river.”

“Yeah, she was badly bruised, but it was post-mortem, most likely caused by the stream’s current dragging and bouncing her off the rocks. Her body had been decomposing already for months. She didn’t have any ID, couldn’t find a dental record or a finger print match in the system.”

It was difficult for me to continue talking and listening. The article had run in several different papers within the area, but nothing turned up. She was a mystery woman, whom nobody claimed. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, and my throat start to burn, but I couldn’t cry, not now. I knew my mom was a junkie and not much of a mother, but she was all I had until she was gone. I wanted more details about her physical characteristics. “Could you give me a description of her?” I asked.

“Sure. She was Caucasian, approximately five feet tall, thin, and had freckles. She had track marks up and down her arms, but that was all printed in the paper. I was in your shoes once so I’m going to give you something that wasn’t printed and didn’t lead anywhere, maybe you can do something with it. She had had a picture tucked into her shoe. It was very badly damaged and the police weren’t able to make out much, but it was a picture of a child. They couldn’t even tell for sure the sex, but the consensus was female.”

I thanked her and she relayed which police station had the picture in evidence, in case I wanted to take a look. After I hung up I had to compose myself. My mother was a loser but she hadn’t left me on purpose. She had been taken from me and she had loved me enough to keep my picture with her.

I paid my bill and went for a walk. I had to think about what I had just learned. What had she been involved in that had gotten her killed? Drugs? I knew it was drugs, well, maybe not. We had lived a quiet and secluded life. Was she running from something, like I had eventually run? Was my life a mirror of hers? Maybe she was a runaway like me but had gotten pregnant, with nowhere to go and no one to turn to, so she turned inside herself. When she was gone, she must have been working because she always came back with money. Maybe she was a whore who wanted to keep her child from that kind of a life. Not that our life was much, but she was there when I was young and unable to fend for myself. If I called the police now, what would I ask them? I had to think about this so I went back to the hotel and snuck up to my room without being noticed, or so I thought.

I sank into the tub with a bottle of wine, and blasted the jets. I awoke to a gentle kiss and nudge from Didier. “Justine, this is a bad habit, you… the tub and wine,” his voice gentle but equally scolding. He helped me out of the tub and wrapped me in a towel, gently drying off my body. Small streams of water from the edges of my hair traced a path down my back. Taking one hand under my legs and the other across my back, he lifted me up and gingerly lay me on the bed. Smothering my body in kisses he sent a quake of hot shivers, and we made love. After, I was about half conscious, and soon slipped back into sleep again.

My sleep haunted me. First, I was running from some man whom I have never seen nor met. It was dark and I was in the woods by our shack, in nothing but shorts and a tank while deformed tree branches scraped against my skin. The man had straight black hair and coal eyes. In his hand he carried a noose. My foot got stuck between two rocks, and from the momentum of my body running, I fell. The leaves caught me. I twisted my head to look over my shoulder, and he was gone. Suddenly, I was twelve years old and alone in the shack. In my next dream my mom was in a restaurant, holding a picture in her hand, and they were arguing. He handed her an envelope and left, angry. It was an unrestful sleep. I woke up feeling my life was in danger and even more confused about who I was and where I had come from. Was my mom even really my mom? Deep down I knew she wasn’t. I didn’t look anything like her.

Twitter- https://twitter.com/ElleKlass

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/ElleKlass

Blog-https://thetroubledoyster.blogspot.com

Website- https://sites.google.com/site/elleklass/

Whitehall Publishing- http://whitehallpublishing.com/ek.html

 

 

Throw Back Thursday: Broken

I’ve been enjoying the embarrassing old pictures people are posting on Instagram and Facebook every Thursday, and I’ve even participated a bit.  Then I thought, “What’s more embarrassing than old big hair pictures of myself?  Stuff I wrote back in the day. So, in that vein I believe I will begin Throw Back Thursdays on my blog every few weeks.

Broken

It used to be a tool,

and every beat was good.

So many beats for you.

I always thought it would last,

and beat a billion more

strong beats for you.

Now it is broken up.

My heart no longer pounds

any beats at all.

It is broken and destroyed,

shattered and crushed,

and no more beats are left.

I wish it could beat again,

but it’s too broken to care,

and too hurt to even try.

Why must it all end?

This broken tool is dead.

It will never beat again.

Copyright 1995

A Title-less Chapter from my Sequel in Progress

I’m almost finished writing the sequel to my Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages, and I feel like sharing a teaser today.  If you were a student anywhere around the time I was, enjoy the nostalgia.  Otherwise you might need to Google stuff.  I’m hoping to have my follow-up ready to release by mid-May.  Enjoy and spread the word:

The phone rang only one more time that night, and it was Adrienne.  Feeling defeated, I hadn’t even bothered to rush to the phone and just lay on my vermilion carpet, staring at the Spirograph-looking design on my ceiling until my mom yelled that Adrienne was on the phone for me.  I shuffled across the hall and all the way around my parents’ bed (normally I would have flung myself right onto it, grabbing the phone while I landed) to pick up the phone.  “Ok, Mom.  Hang up. I’ve got it,” I yelled then put my ear to the phone, not saying a word until I heard my mom’s line click.  “Hey, Adrienne.  Are you back to the world of the living?”

“Not quite.  I feel a bit like the undead.  I think there was a point where I almost went into the light, but my future husband Kurt Cobain called me back.”

“Are you coming to school tomorrow?”

“Probably not.  I also still look like the undead.  I was calling to give you my locker combo so you could grab a few things for me.”

“Adrienne Pierce!  You’re not going to do homework, are you?”  Adrienne was smart, but she was mostly lazy and she didn’t usually care enough to bring home work.

“I might.  I know I’m going to be really behind.  You know, if I can pass my tests and quizzes, I should be mostly ok, but I probably couldn’t do that right now.  I do want to actually pass.”

“Wow.  High school has changed you.  You’re growing up right before my eyes,” I feigned the whole choked up and crying thing.

“Yes, Master Drew.  I learned from you.”

“Ah, very good, young Grasshopper.”

“Anything non-academic I need to know about? Mom said you stopped by the other evening while I was all out of it.  Usually you just call, so I figured it might be a biggish deal.”

“Uhh…” I hesitated, embarrassed.

“Drew.  It’s me.  What’s up?”

“I don’t know.  I’m stupid.”

“I need a story to corroborate this claim.”

I told her everything, sparing not a single detail in the process, but I did it in record time because I just wanted it to be over.  And then I paused to give her time to consider.

“So he hasn’t called?”

“No.”

“Well, you’ll see him tomorrow.”

“I know!  What do I say?  I wish you were going to be there so I wouldn’t have to face him alone.  I made such a fool of myself.”

“Maybe.  Maybe not.  You’ll find out tomorrow.”

“That’s your wisdom for me?”  I asked incredulously.

“It’s all I got.  Undead, remember?”

“Oh, all right,” I whimpered.  “I need you feeling better.  I’m a disaster on my own.  I need my wing-girl.”

“I’ll be flying next week.  Just get my books and drop them off tomorrow.  I need socialization with someone outside my family or I’m going to have to drink Windex or something.”

“Will do.  See you tomorrow afternoon, if I survive.”

“You will.”

And I did, though I was only bodily present in each of my other classes that day.  Ms. Finch noticed right away, but we were fortunately given time after our vocabulary quiz to either write in our journals or read a book.  I reread the same page of Petals on the Wind about a hundred times.   Why did V.C. Andrews find it necessary for every member of the Dollanganger family to have a name beginning with a C?  I thought I’d sorted it out in the first book, but now I was getting the characters blurred and thinking about how my name, Danny’s name, and Dustin’s name all began with a D.  Of course, we weren’t nearly as twisted as that incestuous brood, but it did make my mind wander. She reminded us that our journals were due on Monday.

By photography, I was ready to face Dustin, no matter what.  The uncertainty clouded everything else.  I arrived with a smile on my face, which faded as the warning bell sounded, and disappeared completely when the final bell rang without any sign of Dustin.  Then relief spread though my entire being.  This explained it.  He was sick, or some horrible thing had happened to a family member and he was unable to attend school or call me last night.  The circumstances were entirely out of his control.

I expressed this theory to Adrienne as I dropped off her books that afternoon and we watched Paula Abdul and Keanu Reeves in her Rebel Without a Cause style video for “Rush Rush.”  Somehow we found her to be an acceptable pop artist, and we both drooled over Keanu, just as we had while watching him bring down surfer bank robbers in Point Break.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” she coughed out and then blew her nose.

“Man, you’re still sick.”

“Actually, I feel much better.  What are the dress-up days for next week?”

“You’re suddenly feeling the need to express your school spirit for Homecoming?”

“I like a chance to wear weird stuff.”  Adrienne had never really needed an excuse to do so before, but it would be easier if it was sanctioned.

“Uh, let me see,” I said as I opened my own bookbag.  I had come straight to Adrienne’s after getting off the bus and had walked with Emily.  At some point earlier in the week I had shoved the Homecoming flyer into the bottom of my front pocket of my hunter green Jansport.  At least four pieces of paper were uncrumpled in the process before I found it, straightening out the creases on the edge of Adrienne’s coffee table.  “All right.  Monday is pajama day.”

“Done.  Got that for sure,” she replied.  “Next.”

“Tuesday is crazy hat day.”  I paused, but Adrienne didn’t add any commentary that time, so I moved down the list.  “Wednesday is cross dress day.  No.  Wait.  They had to change it.  Apparently some parents complained because some of the senior guys were planning to wear miniskirts or something.”  We both looked each at each other and laughed.

“So what are we doing instead?”

“Uh, I can’t remember.  They announced it today during photography, but my mind was elsewhere.”

“Inside out and backwards day!”  Emily shouted from the kitchen.

“How do you even know that, Emily.  You’re in middle school,” Adrienne called back, annoyed.

“I hear stuff,” was her simple reply as she walked in front of us with a brownie to get to their bedroom.

“Hey!  Where’s my brownie?” we both asked in unison.

“I think they’re in the kitchen,” Emily said as she shut the door behind her.

Assuming we were both too lazy to make our way to the kitchen for brownies, I continued with the list.  “Thursday is blast from the past day.”

“Cool!  We are totally going to raid my grandma’s closet this weekend.”

“And Friday is spirit day.  School colors and stuff like that.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing that.  I don’t own maroon outside of gym class, and I don’t really wear it then either.”

“Same here.  I better go now though.  I came straight here and Mom will worry I missed the bus.  I’ll see you tomorrow if you feel better.”

“Cool.  Later.”

(Obviously you should consider this as Copyrighted material and not try to pass any of it off as yours)

Sequel Excerpt of the Talent Show

A little sample of Drew’s progress in her freshman year, an excerpt of the sequel to Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages.

Florntayor’s Got Talent…Sort of

If nothing else, working as part of the backstage crew at the school’s talent show gave me something to do on a Friday night, and though there were no judges or winners, I was feeling quite judgmental, and I really questioned a few of the acts and outfits that strutted across the stage.  Make-out girl from my neighboring locker did some sort of gymnastics meets dance routine while wearing nothing more than a flesh colored body suit and a smile.  Little was left to the imagination, and a flashback montage of all her tonsil-tickler partners and Valentine hearts played in my head, which I shook quietly to myself in the dark behind the stage.

Lance, the mouth breather, performed a magic routine, but everything he attempted failed, and he shuffled off the stage with his left wrist handcuffed to his right ankle and feathers coming out of his pants.  A brother and sister combination played “Dueling Banjos,” and that disturbed me but seemed fitting for Florntayor. Mona performed a baton routine that I guess she used for her beauty pageants.  I secretly hoped she’d hit herself in the head, but she only dropped the baton once, albeit, it landed at the feet of a couple in the front row, which made me smile a little. For the rest of the night some poetry was recited by a mousy junior girl and Bryan Adam’s “Everything I Do” was sung a cappella, and badly, by a senior who was using it as a means to ask a girl to prom.  She said yes and with tears in her eyes, which were obviously there for different reasons than the tears I had in my eyes after the performance.

And then Vile Contagion took the stage and took it with force.

Terri Klaes Harper 2014

Sneak a Peek at My Sequel

I’ve been busy writing my sequel to Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages (sequel title to be announced).  Here’s some proof:

Learning What Ails

After the annual ceremonial sacrifices of our dignity, otherwise known as three weeks of square dancing, we got a little more time off from dressing out for gym (as if I often did anyway) as we had an interval of health class where we learned about cleaning ourselves properly, certain muscle groups, and eating nutritious food. Carmen and I were passing notes back and forth.  She was in the drama club and they were getting extra credit if they helped backstage at the upcoming talent show, and if they recruited other people.

Her note read, “Vile Contagion is playing, so Adrienne already said she’d help because she thinks Joe Spano is hot.” Adrienne had been talking about this all week.  Joe Spano was a junior and played drums in our high school’s local rock band, Vile Contagion.  I had to admit, their name was catchy.

“I can do it as long as Adrienne is because we’ll just catch rides together,” I wrote, and then refolded and tossed the note to Carmen. It came back to me quickly with a huge smiley face.

“Who remembers what the gluteus maximus is?” asked our all-year shorty shorts and whistle wearing gym teacher.

And in that unfortunate moment, Julia from chorus’ sister, who happened to be an office aid, walked in with a message delivery. As soon as her wide hips cleared the door to exit, Lance, Mouth-Breather from photography, shouted out, “That young woman is burdened with a prime example of a maximus gluteus maximus!”

Instead of scolding Lance, Mr. Baxter said, “Yes, exactly.  The glute is the butt,” and Lance and Todd, his greasy haired cohort gave each other high fives.

“But, wait,” declared my normally lip-locked locker neighbor who had recently been transferred into the class in order to avoid an old boyfriend. “I thought Gluteus Maximus was like a Roman god or something.”

After paying attention to those few minutes of class, Carmen and I resumed our note writing.  It seemed safer for our brain cells.

More to come.  I wrote around 7,000 words this week.

An Update on the Ordinary

As Dustin walked us toward the door, he caught me gently by the hand, letting Adrienne walk out ahead.  “I couldn’t find the mistletoe, and I couldn’t afford to get you a gift, so I hope this is ok,” he said as he leaned in and gave me a quick, soft kiss on my lips. His hand let mine go, he smiled, his beautiful dark eye showing more of the green flecks than normal, and wished me a Merry Christmas.  I turned and walked into the wall.  -Excerpt from Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl’s yet untitled sequel

Since my blog tends to be all over the place, as I pick up new followers, I guess I should reiterate from time to time that I am an author… with an actual book.

“Oh, yeah?  What’s it called and what is it about?” is a common question (yeah, I know that if we disected this there are actually three questions).

So, here’s the blurb for Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: The Middle-ish Ages:

Set in the time while the ‘80s were fading into the ‘90s and the poofiness of hair and shoulder pads was soon to deflate, this coming of age story retells the experiences of Drew Hotchner, an “extraordinarily ordinary” girl, through her possibly wiser and more honest adult self. Drew struggles not only with the unavoidable awkwardness of being in middle school, but also with having to start over again her entire social world after experiencing the culture shock of moving across the country from California to Virginia.

Through Drew’s humorous adventures in trespassing, accidental theft, school dances, and throwing punches at her best friend, she must finally learn who she really is. And if you can admit you are also extraordinarily ordinary, just as Drew claims to be, that we all just want to know who we really are, and that sometimes we surprise ourselves along the way, this might be the book for you.

Now for some other reminders and updates.  My book is currently available in three online locations.

Still available on kindle, but now also in print at Amazon.

CreateSpace has the book in print.

I recently added my book to the many indie works of Smashwords.  They even allowed me to have an official author interview page.  Answering those questions was fun and it makes me feel special.

I think I’m going to figure out a way to offer signed copies of my book, which can be an issue when my book is print on demand.  I’ll work out the kinks and give out that info when the time comes.

Oh, AND I am still building likes for my Facebook author page.  Come join and share with your friends.

I’m still working on my sequel for Drew’s freshman year and I’m about halfway through it too.  The problem with fiction is that it can sometimes take on a life of its own and it’s taking me longer to write this than I had originally anticipated, and one really cannot rush art.