My Sole Soul Mate

With the passing of Thanksgiving I’ve really been assessing how and why I am thankful.  One of the most essential parts of my life, and one for which I am truly thankful, is also one I often take for granted: Robert, my husband, the love of my life.  After 12 1/2 years of marriage, I realize I fall in love with him more all the time.  If you’re doing the math and have read my previous posts, you’re probably wondering how a woman who just turned 29 (for the 7th time) could possibly have been married for so long. I must have been a baby.

Indeed, we were practically infants.

Seriously, I don’t know what either of us were thinking when we decided to get married at 21 (Robert) and 22 (me- yes, I’m the “older woman” by nine months).  I was graduating from college one day, and two weeks and a day later, I was married!  Then we moved 600 miles away less than two weeks after that.  I truly feel I began my life with Robert… my adult life anyway.

Just the beginning…

When we met, apparently Robert knew right away that I was “the one.”  I was less enlightened than this and fought the whole idea of romance at that time.  I had just decided I was happy without the complication of a boyfriend, but I’m glad I gave him a shot after all.  I cannot imagine my life without him, and how could I not be won over by such a romantic gentleman with whom I had so much in common?

Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Party 2010

I’m sure Robert knows me better than anyone, and still he sticks around.  Just kidding.  I’m actually really easy to get along with.  Since I’m an introvert, I tend to just keep the crazy inside most of the time, but I know he’s seen it and still loves me. In fact, as much as possible, Robert “gets me,” and he supports me.  Sometimes I feel like my ideas and dreams are crazy, but he has committed that we will stick together through it all.  Perhaps he should be committed for agreeing to that, but it makes me love and respect him more.

Micro-brew tour of Asheville, spring 2010

We’ve been through some rough patches, but we always make it through.  Some of these patches are private and not to be shared in a blog, and others include the frustration we faced a few years ago when Robert was unemployed for almost two years and we lived off my meager teacher’s salary.  We’ve heard of couples who don’t make it through stressful times like that, but we became closer in that time (we had more time to spend together- haha).

I gave this “love bug” to Robert when I first worked up the nerve to tell him I love him. She flew with me to Costa Rica last summer since he couldn’t.

During that time of unemployment, we read a book called The Five Love Languages, and we both discovered that spending quality time together was a primary love language for both of us.  I love quiet evenings at home watching movies with Robert, or spending time talking or being silly with each other and our kids (dogs).  When we were first married our work schedules kept us from seeing much of each other, and then I became a teacher and Robert felt like a widower.  That time when he was unemployed allowed us to get to know each other again and to spend what sometimes felt like too much quality time together.

Quality time with the dogs

I hear the complaints other married couples make of their spouses, but I really don’t have any serious issues with mine.  Sure, we squabble from time to time, but we talk and pray and work out our problems together.  It’s not perfect, but our marriage is solid.  We’ve learned to talk and listen, and sometimes just to hug it out.

We have been part of 2 200 mile relay races where we fundraised for Love 146, an abolitionist group we love.

Robert is a good man.  He’s loving, caring, a good leader, and a best friend.  Wherever he goes, people love him and look to him.   His heart is bigger than people can tell right away, and we share the same passions that make us happy as well as those that make us angry.  He is my other half, and I know God designed us for each other.

Garth Vader (Halloween in July in August party)