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The Precipice of Change

And now what?  I’ve gone on my mission trip.  I’ve felt a stirring to love more.  But what exactly do I do with this feeling?

I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I want to move on in my life and do more than what I’m doing now.  It isn’t just something I want though; it’s a feeling that I need to do something else, that God is calling me for more, and my husband has the same feeling, so we are ready to act on it.  The problem is that we don’t quite have the clarity of what that is yet. Human trafficking is the atrocity that breaks my heart, and yet I felt a pull towards the children I worked with last week, who appreciate any love they receive, not with the feeling it is owed them, but just a desire for it.  It could just be the high from the trip (which my husband has caught through me), but perhaps there is a way to combine these two ideas.  After all, these kids are the ones at risk of being pulled into the world of being trafficked in one way or another.

Does this mean I want to move to Costa Rica?  If that turns out to be the calling, we will go.  Maybe the passion Robert and I are feeling now will actually plant us with more domestic roots, but we’re ready either way. Now we just need that clarity and to figure out what our next steps are.  Life changes are a big deal, after all.  This trip was a confirmation that we do have a call,  and now we’re ready to find out what it is.

It’s hard to explain to people that you do feel love towards children when you’ve never had any of your own.  I never could figure out why God never gave me a desire to have children of my own.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  Then a friend of mine told me she thought Robert and I seemed like we would end up doing something with kids and that the fact we do not have our own actually makes it easier for us to relocate.  It was interesting and encouraging to hear that from someone who didn’t even know this was something on my mind.  God knows what He’s doing, and He’s got the masterplan, so who am I to question that?  A foundation is being prepared now, and I’m ready to start building.

God blessed me with a big heart, a big, sappy, emotional heart.  But He also gave me a thoughtful, logical mind.  An interesting balance at times.  Then on top of those traits, He placed Robert and I together.  Robert and I share a heart and logic, but he also has a leadership quality about him.  He’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert.  All this makes us a good team, and I cannot wait to see where God places us.  He’s been building us up for something for some time now, and we’re both ready to make our leap of faith, but we also know we need some more logistics so we don’t do something foolish.  What a place to balance- at the top of a precipice of change.

“Show me the path where I should go, O Lord; point out the right road for me to walk.”  Psalm 25:4

Skillet has a great song which deals with the needs our world has for change.


About caverns of my mind


One response »

  1. I had a feeling you would feel this way after your trip. God is leading you towards a path He has planned for you, and I admire your openess towards it. 🙂


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