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Tag Archives: change

Home is Where the Heart Is

There she was, curled into a dot on the bed, wrapped in a furry dog. I hoped my instincts would kick in as the dog’s had. This was way out of my comfort zone and level of experience… yet here she was, left in my uncertain hands.

The phone call had come just nine days earlier, during a leisurely afternoon nap (I had a feeling naps would be scarce in my new life). My blurry brain was having a hard time comprehending the surreal conversation. Perhaps I was still asleep and this was a  dream.

“Jane took off today. Nobody knows where she is, but I had a feeling this was coming. The kids are both with your father and me, but…” my mother trailed off. “It’s just too much for us with both the kids.”

What was she saying? What was she about to say? I knew there was a reason she had called me, and I think even in that foggy moment, I knew what the question would be. I’d had this conversation with my sister only a few weeks earlier. At the same time as it was a shock Jane had actually left, there had been some signs and a deep feeling it would come.

“Lynn, would you and Michael please consider taking in Diana?” What did that mean, and for how long?

My simple reply was, “Give us a couple days to think this over.” I could have just answered then. I knew what the answer would be. How could we deny taking in an innocent little girl who needed a home? Yet, this was my family, not his blood, and I knew a life-altering decision had to be discussed. That initial discussion lasted about 45 seconds. We knew it was the right thing to do, even if we were both frightened. So frightened.

So we stood in the doorway of the now pink room we had spent days preparing for her, and we watched her sleep, enthralled by what was happening.

She had not gone to sleep peacefully. She had screamed and cried and when there was nothing left for us to do, we had put her to bed where she cried herself to sleep as we helplessly cringed and stared at each other. She was angry, confused, and absolutely inconsolable. Who could blame her? But a four year old doesn’t know how to voice what we knew she was feeling. She didn’t understand where her mother was, why she had just spent a week and a half at her Gran and Pop’s house, and why she was now in our home, her great aunt and uncle she mostly just saw on holidays.

Our hearts went out to her. We knew she was in a tender place, but we also had to set a certain tone of authority, because this could very well be a permanent situation for us and we needed to be the ones in charge. What a crazy balance we would have to learn when we had spent fourteen years avoiding parenting.

She sighed and rolled over, and the dog stirred. The other dog, as uncertain and scared as we were, stepped towards the bed and peered over the top at the tiny creature who had made so much noise earlier, but now only lightly snored. She was a curiosity. Something new to be discovered, for all of us. And she would change us.

**Just a little creative writing draft**

Terri Klaes Harper

Copyright 2017

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The Precipice of Change

And now what?  I’ve gone on my mission trip.  I’ve felt a stirring to love more.  But what exactly do I do with this feeling?

I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I want to move on in my life and do more than what I’m doing now.  It isn’t just something I want though; it’s a feeling that I need to do something else, that God is calling me for more, and my husband has the same feeling, so we are ready to act on it.  The problem is that we don’t quite have the clarity of what that is yet. Human trafficking is the atrocity that breaks my heart, and yet I felt a pull towards the children I worked with last week, who appreciate any love they receive, not with the feeling it is owed them, but just a desire for it.  It could just be the high from the trip (which my husband has caught through me), but perhaps there is a way to combine these two ideas.  After all, these kids are the ones at risk of being pulled into the world of being trafficked in one way or another.

Does this mean I want to move to Costa Rica?  If that turns out to be the calling, we will go.  Maybe the passion Robert and I are feeling now will actually plant us with more domestic roots, but we’re ready either way. Now we just need that clarity and to figure out what our next steps are.  Life changes are a big deal, after all.  This trip was a confirmation that we do have a call,  and now we’re ready to find out what it is.

It’s hard to explain to people that you do feel love towards children when you’ve never had any of your own.  I never could figure out why God never gave me a desire to have children of my own.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  Then a friend of mine told me she thought Robert and I seemed like we would end up doing something with kids and that the fact we do not have our own actually makes it easier for us to relocate.  It was interesting and encouraging to hear that from someone who didn’t even know this was something on my mind.  God knows what He’s doing, and He’s got the masterplan, so who am I to question that?  A foundation is being prepared now, and I’m ready to start building.

God blessed me with a big heart, a big, sappy, emotional heart.  But He also gave me a thoughtful, logical mind.  An interesting balance at times.  Then on top of those traits, He placed Robert and I together.  Robert and I share a heart and logic, but he also has a leadership quality about him.  He’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert.  All this makes us a good team, and I cannot wait to see where God places us.  He’s been building us up for something for some time now, and we’re both ready to make our leap of faith, but we also know we need some more logistics so we don’t do something foolish.  What a place to balance- at the top of a precipice of change.

“Show me the path where I should go, O Lord; point out the right road for me to walk.”  Psalm 25:4

Skillet has a great song which deals with the needs our world has for change.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORHRvI7o23g