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Tag Archives: leap of faith

Where My Feet May Fail…

My husband and I took a dive into a world we had no experience in, and we did it by the faith that God would be in this with us no matter what, because we feel we are doing what He called us to do. It’s been the most emotional experience of my life. It would be easiest to just give up and stop, but even though we lose sleep and our lives have changed completely, we press on, because the reward is so great.

LOVE. It’s what we are here to do… be like Jesus and LOVE. I know I’m far from being Jesus, but with His help, I can do all things, and if I keep in the right mindset, and in prayer, I trust Him to pull us through this.

Lately, the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United has really spoken to me, so much so that I try to sing along every time I hear it, but my voice cracks and tears fall. I know my husband and I cannot do this alone.  What an exercise in faith this has become.

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A Year of Retrospect

It’s been about a year since I put in my notice that I was leaving behind my career in teaching, one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in life.  And where am I now?

I’m sane.

This is what I looked like while I was teaching (it was Spirit Week- don't judge too much)

This is what I looked like while I was teaching (it was Spirit Week- don’t judge too much)

I look back over this year and don’t know that I’ve made many tangible or visible steps towards what I had hoped to ultimately gain as far as ministry or fighting human trafficking goes, but what I first needed to recover before being able to go further was my sanity. Leaving teaching was a leap of faith because I didn’t have a set plan, and I still really don’t, but it’s been working out, so I feel God is giving His stamp of approval and I’m heading the right way, even if it feels I’m traveling there slowly.

What have I been able to actually accomplish?

I have been able to spend time with my husband again.
The house and budget are kept in much better order
I have made myself more available and signed up as a co-leader for my summer mission trip to Guatemala this year, as well as being able to do more in the community through my church
I have discovered that it wasn’t just my fault I had no time to spend with my friends- they’re all busy too- but I have made new friends as well and I’ve come out of my protective shell more
I had time to research more about self promotion for my writing career
I wrote a second book which I am about to publish.
I have genuinely smiled and laughed more in this last year than I had for several years before that.
 

As a teacher, my students were the best part.  If not for them, laughter would have been kept to a minimum with all the other stress from that career. I was afraid I’d feel I had abandoned them, but I cherish them, and I always will.  Whenever I am asked if I regret leaving or consider going back, it surprises me how much I realize that was an important chapter in my life, yet I have no trouble with turning the page and beginning this new one.

I cannot go back, because if I do, I’ll never move forward.

One Car Faith

jalopies

Recap.  I left the world of teaching with nothing officially lined up for after.  No big deal since everyone knows teachers don’t get paid much anyway, right?  Except my husband and I were making an equal income, so this cut our money in half.  Yikes!  Now it sounds insane, and it is.

We lived off not much more than that before when Robert went through some time of being unemployed, but we did get to collect unemployment.  Since I happily vacated my job, no unemployment can be acquired.  When we decided I would take this huge step into the void during a time of high unemployment rates, we did it with the faith that somehow it would all work out because we felt this was a needed step.  If I could find part-time work, we’d be fine.

Then we came to a wall, or a decision that needed to be made.  I was taking off the two months I would have had off as a teacher and was going to job search when school started back up because the lump of checks at the end of the year covered the summer anyway.  During this time Robert’s free car that had miraculously run for three years stopped running.  It was probably just the battery, so we could pay to replace that, and other than the gauges on the dash that rarely worked, the lack of A/C in a black car in Florida, and a number of other oddities plaguing the vehicle, we could have had it running.  However, time was coming to renew the car registration and it was another car we had to pay insurance on.  Since the school year had ended we had really only driven my car.  We began to contemplate life with only one car.  The problem at this point was the uncertainty of what I would do for income.  Having only one car might not work if I found a job with hours that conflicted with Robert’s schedule.

Maybe we should never have let the dog drive.

Maybe we should never have let the dog drive.

A conundrum.

We could save quite a bit of money if we just let the car go.  But what if we needed it later?

I would just have to find a way to make money from home or work between Robert’s hours.  It was time for a vehicular pardon of the old Jetta.  In the scary moment when we both realized this, we felt both nervous and liberated.  We would have to exercise one car faith and believe that no matter what, God was in the driver’s seat, to use a bad cliche disguised as a bad pun, and He would provide for us just as He always had.

It hasn’t been long living in this manner yet, but I have managed to find a few sources of income in which the car has not been an issue.  It feels great to have been able to simplify our lives just a little more, running on one car faith.