RSS Feed

Skin Deep

People are like stained – glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I would like to preface this entire post by declaring that I am not and have never been a girlie girl.  I’ve never had a manicure or a pedicure (I refuse to have people touch my feet);  I get my hair trimmed maybe twice a year for under $20 each time; I keep my accessories simple and had been using the same handbag consistently for well over a year, until I just got a new one while in Guatemala. I just like to keep things simple.  However, there was a time, which ended not more than a few years ago, when I would NOT even leave my house without a full face of makeup.  Now, it’s not like I caked it on or anything, but I would not allow others to see me without at least a good coat of foundation.

Please don’t back out on reading this now because you think it’s a post about makeup.

My problem was my self image.  Around my early high school years I developed a case of acne that didn’t really go away until I was almost thirty.  Once I grew out of the awkward stage of body parts and facial features not quite fitting together in proportional solidarity, the acne came.  One of the most devastating backhanded compliments I often heard was, “You’d be really pretty if you didn’t have acne.”  Gee thanks.  You’d be a nice person if you weren’t so inconsiderate.  I would almost have rather had them just say I was ugly.  At least then I’d have known where I stood.  But knowing the only thing standing in my way of being “pretty” (and even if I was never a girlie girl, there isn’t a girl alive, no matter what she says, who does not want people to think she is pretty) was having some zits really hurt.  I tried everything to gt rid of them.

My self esteem was shot and I barely wanted to show my face in public even with makeup, so going without was impossible.  This way I could at least hide the more minor imperfections.

Then a huge challenge came along.  Running.  I’ve discussed this here before.  I began running about three years ago for the purpose of raising money in a race, and then, as Nike suggested, I kept just doing it.  A group of us would meet weekly for a run and I remember that it was a big deal that I was going to be not only sweaty and nasty in front of people, but makeup-less as well.  Totally vulnerable and, in a way, exposed.  The thing is… so was everybody else, and I didn’t notice people looking too carefully at my skin or anything.  I know it seems silly if you’ve never gone through this but I had real issues when it came to this, so it was a hard obstacle to overcome.

I’ve finally come to understand real beauty, and though I still like to wear at least some minimalist foundation when possible, I’m not afraid of going without anymore.

Advertisements

About caverns of my mind

Author of MEMOIRS OF AN ORDINARY GIRL series http://bit.ly/tlklaes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: