It has been months now since I took the time to write a heartfelt post. Partly, I have been overwhelmed with life, and partly, the last time I did so, someone took what I wrote out of context and tried to use it against me. It’s hard to bare your soul when people are looking to turn it on you as an emotional weapon, but this person only did so because of her own emotional instability.
Today, Mother’s Day, pulled stirrings in my heart to the surface, and it felt like the right day to make a comeback.
I have always celebrated my own caring, giving, and loving mother on this special day, and my husband sometimes joked about how I am a mommy to our fur children. However, this year, Mother’s Day has taken on a whole new meaning for me. On this day last year, I was traveling home from an out of town job, not having much reason why I would need to be at home. I arrived home, called my mother, and probably spent the remainder of the day watching movies with my husband and our dogs. What would happen just two months later was nowhere on my radar.
One day in June, after going out to watch one of the final USA games in the World Cup, my husband and I arrived at home, and because we could, we took a mid-afternoon nap. When I awoke, my mother had called and wanted me to call her back. It was urgent. Groggy, I dialed her. The long story short version is that my husband and I were called upon to take on a huge responsibility that would most certainly change our lives completely. After fourteen years of blissfully childless marriage, we had been asked to take in a four-year old girl.
How do you even consider saying no to that? When I hung up the phone and approached my husband, his reaction was much the same as mine: shocked, but not doubting we needed to do the right thing. Our preparation for parenthood was nine days, whereas most parents get nine months. Wow!
You can scan back through some of my previous posts to learn more about the adventure as it unfolded, but today the reflection is on the meaning of motherhood.
I was confused for some time as to what my role was to be in this little girl’s life. After all, she technically still has a mother. I’m just the aunt she is living with, right?
But motherhood is so much more than giving life to a little one; it is sustaining that life and growing it with the nourishment of love. As it turns out, a mommy is the one who tucks you in and prays with you at night and gives you much needed hugs and kisses every day. A mommy is the one you cry for when you skin your knee (I have Star Wars Band-aids). A mommy is the one who helps you discover who you are and teaches you life lessons every time an opportunity presents itself. A mommy tosses and turns at night, hoping she is doing a good job, and prays God will give her the wisdom to always do what is right for her little one. She caresses you when you’ve had a bad dream and listens helplessly all night to your coughs when you are sick, wanting to take them away. A mommy is there for you; she doesn’t leave. These are the qualities of a mommy, and so, I have finally discovered, that I am now a mommy.
It is the hardest, yet most rewarding role I’ve ever taken in life.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mommies out there. Love them unconditionally. Love them forever. Don’t let them go.
caverns of my mind 