Category Archives: Humor

My Communication Breakdown

I don’t believe there is such a thing as “sudden-onset” telephonophobia, but it happens slowly over time, and it happened to me.  (Actually, I thought I was just making this up, but I found an interesting little article covering the irrational fear of phone use- can’t tell if this is a real thing or not, but it proves others are curious about it)  You see, over time I have grown and nurtured an aversion to traditional telephone use.  I cannot pinpoint when it happened, but I went from being a lover of phones to an avoider of phones.  The irony is that in today’s world, at least here in the US, many of us are dependent upon our phones, but not for their traditional use of simply speaking to someone…unless maybe we could find an app to do that for us.

Back in the day I could talk on a phone until both ears hurt.  I’d stretch the phone cord as far as I could in order to get comfortable and settle in for a long conversation.  These were even the days before caller ID.  If the phone rang, you answered it; you didn’t even think about it.  Now if my phone rings, which fortunately it does not often do, I look first to see who is calling, and if I see the dreaded “unknown caller,” I refuse to answer, as if the person can somehow hurt me through the phone.  If that stranger thinks he of she has business with me, a voicemail message must be left.  I will screen it and decide if I deem the caller worthy or not.  I think this all stems from telemarketers.  There came a time when the only calls that ever came to our home phone were from people trying to sell kitchen knives, weight-loss miracle drugs, or magazine subscriptions.  We got rid of the home phone.

Sadly, I am ecstatic that I finally memorized my husband’s cell number.  He’s had that particular number for over three years now, and I just got to where I know I can dial it from memory if my phone should ever happen to die or get lost.  I used to have all my friends’ numbers memorized because I actually had to physically dial them and I could visually see the numbers on a key pad.  Now there are any number of ways, depending on how smart our smart phones really are, that we can dial people, but it rarely involves punching any numbers into the keypad.

But these days, I want some freedom, so I text.  Other than driving (NEVER text and drive!), so much can be done and multi-tasked while texting, that I cannot imagine all the time I wasted in my youth concentrating solely on a phone conversation.

All this came to mind because I was recently thinking about an old friend, my oldest friendship actually- the one I used to talk to for hours at a time- and I decided we needed to reconnect…on the phone.  Because I dislike phones so much, it is hard to get past that even when it’s for a dear friend.  I tend to make all sorts of excuses in my mind to not make a phone call.  It’s ridiculous really.  So, to hold myself to it, I scheduled a day and time (an appointment) to call her, figuring I’d be more likely to hold myself to it if I wrote it on my calendar.  It worked too.  I called her at our agreed upon time and we spoke for well over an hour, just like old times, and it was wonderful!  I might even work up the nerve to do it again sometime.

A totally non-related moment here, but when I was trying to find out if phone phobia was a real thing, I came across this little bit of irony, and I love irony:  “Sesquipedalophobia” is the fear of long words.

The Top Three Reasons Why People Read the Books They Read

stack-of-books

I made it my most recent mission to find out the top three reasons people are drawn to read the books they read.  After all, I figured uncovering this information would give me insight as to how I can get my book out there and read by the masses. (Here’s one subtle hint… read Memoirs of an Ordinary Girl: the Middle-ish Ages– nah, subliminal messages are not in the top three, but check it out anyway!)

1) Someone recommended it, perhaps over and over again

2) You read at least one other work by the author and swore you would read everything else this person ever wrote

3) You were just browsing, but the cover and title of the book looked awesome

By the way, I did absolutely no solid data gathering or official research for this, so you are warned, but you’re also thinking, That’s a good list.  Maybe I should see what else she has to say.  She is obviously quite smart and beautiful.  So maybe I added the last part, but keep reading anyway.  My list was carefully constructed by my own experiences as a book nerd and by observations of other people.  I love observing other people… but not in that creepy, restraining order kind of way.  No worries.

Back to number one (by the way, these are in no particular order of importance).  There are many ways a book may be recommended to you.  Perhaps a friend read the book and just knew you would love/relate to it.  The name of the book just kept popping up everywhere you went, on everything you watched and in everything you read, and critics loved it.  Maybe you know or once knew the author and wanted to either be supportive or to find something wrong so you could knock him or her down a peg, finally!  In rarer instances, you may have found yourself forced into it (school assignment or a gun to your head).  But the bottom line is that recommendations do work, so I know I need to work on my marketing with word of mouth or buy a gun.  I’d rather go with the first (and I know some hippie tree hugger is going to find my sense of humor off on the whole gun thing, but then that person really needs to lighten up and go eat some granola).

Number Two.  I know from experience (and all the posts I see on Facebook, which are sure to be good research) that once I read something I love, or sometimes even just like, I suddenly want to read everything that person ever wrote.  Sometimes this leaves me feeling hollow inside and disappointed to the point of tears (I read the entire Twilight series because I was a high school English teacher and I wanted to see what was warping the minds of the girls in my classes, but please don’t tell anyone. I still have nightmares about sparkling vampires), but it’s usually a good investment of time.  And then, of course, a good book series (not Twilight) can pull us in to the point that we’re just not sure what we will do with our lives once we’ve read them all.

And then number three (hold on, let me scroll up to see what I wrote for that).  Ah, yes, the book cover.  “You can’t judge a book by its cover” is a load of poop.  We all know if the cover looks boring we do not want to read the book.  It’s a really nice idea to use for learning to get to know people before we make decisions about them, but there are way too may books out there waiting for me to read them to waste my time reading them all.  If I find myself in a situation where I do not already have the next book I want to read or I’m at my local public library that hardly ever has anything on my want to read list, I browse.  If the cover gets my attention, that’s a good start.  Then if the title is intriguing, I will read the back of the book or the book flap.  If I’m not hooked, I’m not going to read it.

So, there you have it, my not-so-scientific research list of why we read the stuff we read.  If you don’t agree, come up with your own list.